The second week of July sure is a let-down.
After the booze and barbecue-fueled burst of patriotism over the 4th of July weekend, we’re all sad to return to ordinary, work-fueled life. Yet the dullness of this week is certainly no excuse to stop drinking. Nay, mid-July is the perfect time to drink our feelings.
All happy hours this week will consist of at least two Blood and Sands:
1. Secure some top-notch Scotch. This is no time for American whiskey. Dump an ounce into your cocktail shaker.
2. Add a little less than an ounce each of sweet vermouth and cherry herring (Yeah, we’re not sure what that is either).
3. Dump in some ice. Stir aimlessly while reminiscing about last weekend’s hike on the beach in Point Reyes.
4. Lovingly admire your sand-filled hiking boots. Accidentally dip the rim of your drinking glass in said sand-filled shoes.
5. Strain Scotch mixture into sand-rimmed drinking glass.
6. Remember that this drink is supposed to be garnished with an orange peel.
7. Find an orange at the bottom of the vegetable crisper.
8. Begin to peel orange over the filled drinking glass. “Accidentally” let peeler slip and slice a small cut on your pointer finger. Blood may drip into drink, adding additional vitamins, minerals, and umami.
9. Optional: cry a few tears into glass.
10. Drink rapidly.