Caviar Caviar Delivery Launches, Brings Epicurean Delights to the (Select) Masses

BelugaCaviar

Right on the heels of their successful upscale restaurant delivery service, Caviar has launched a new, more premium option: Caviar Caviar. “We felt like the Bay Area was ready to for a step up,” said founder Jason Wang. “Those of us who know what good food really is know that a meal is always improved with several spoonfuls of black beluga caviar.”

Yes, you heard it right—the most mysterious, endangered, and undeniably delicious variety of fish eggs is now available for delivery directly to your doorstep. “We’re partnering with the top-rated UberLUX drivers to personally chauffeur the delicacy around town,” explained Wang. “We want to make sure that the caviar is in the right hands.”

Given the rarity of beluga caviar on the market today, Caviar has had to make some tough decisions to bring the product to San Francisco. Luckily, Wang has an in with the Russian intelligentsia. “It’s not Edward Snowden,” he said. In order to protect his source as well as his own freedom, Wang asks that customers tell any questioning authorities that the product is “most certainly sevruga eggs.”

Because of the high value of the product, Caviar Caviar will only be available in “select” neighborhoods. These neighborhoods include all of San Francisco, Marin County, and the Peninsula. Delivery will also be available for select streets in the upper reaches of the Oakland and Berkeley Hills, but these trips will come with an additional surcharge, as Caviar only allows UberCHOPPER to deliver the precious cargo to such a “diverse” location. “We don’t believe that the flatlands are safe enough for our drivers,” said Wang.

As could be expected, Caviar Caviar is not for diners on a budget. Entry-level selections start at $300/ounce. More choice caviars go for $1000/ounce. The cost of the Uber delivery is included in the price. Explains Wang: “We’re really giving our customers a deal by including the cost of delivery in the caviar rate. In fact, we’re barely making more than our 45% industry average mark-up on the food. It’s totally a steal.”

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